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Writer's pictureKailee Helton

What is your message to women who are afraid to commit?

I used to struggle with the idea of letting go of my singleness and devoting myself to someone for the rest of my life. It was when I prayed and asked God to affirm my relationship with my now husband that peace surpassed all the “what-ifs” that kept me from being fully all-in in my mind and spirit. I did not date very much in college and I have always felt very independent and driven in my single years. It is a matter of continually praying and asking God to help me to put my self-driven/self-sufficient natural self-down to rest and to allow the holy spirit to open my heart to allow my husband to lead me (even when I want to lead myself), to minister and pour into me, and to be my “other-half” in everything I do, even and especially when it's hard. I tend to forget that God knows what is very best for me, and committing to my husband has been one of the greatest and most life-giving decisions I have ever made. So do not allow Satan to deceive you into thinking you are better off alone or with someone who is not God-driven. Continually pray, read the word of God, and speak to friends and other more mature and wiser women who are committed and loyal in their Christ-centered marriages who can support and affirm you. Also, God does give the gift of singleness to a select few and there is NOTHING wrong with that. If you feel like you have been called to this life, there is nothing wrong or different about you. Pray and ask God for peace if this is God’s call for your life. Just do not allow fear to rob you of the joy of pursuing a committed relationship that may lead to marriage because you are afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone else. Hurt, pain and disappointment are all guarantees in any relationship because we are sinful naturally. It is grace, love, and hope that sets us free to heal and renew our relationships over and over again, reflecting Christ’s love for us.


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